This topic usually gets covered in a few "womens studies" courses.
A couple of books I'd point you at include Women Fire and Dangerous Things and The Handbook of Nonsexist Writing. Suzette Haden Elgin wrote a number of books with "gentle art of verbal self defense" in the title that also analyzed differences in male and female speaking patterns, although hers were aimed more at how to avoid verbal abuse.
Much of what get called "sexism" in language reflects relics of old and middle English. Or changing words. In Shakespeare's day, the word
girl meant "teenager" and referred to both males and females alike.
One gripe is that "man" is used to reflect the generic human (some folks use "they" to refer to the singular generic human). In olden times, that was correct:
man meant "adult human".
wifman meant "adult female human" and
werman meant "adult male human". The "wer" prefix has since been eliminated from English except for one word: "werewolf", and "wifman" changed phonetically and is now spelled "woman".
For the actor/actress issue. Again, back in "olden times", the endings
er (and sometimes
ster) represented "male who does $verb", likewise the ending
ress (and sometimes
stress) represented "female who does $verb" (much like Spanish with the
dor suffix for verbs, such as matar + ~dor becomes matador). Likewise the pattern of "person who does $noun" would be the noun +
man, example "taxman") That's an artifact left over from when English was a gendered language like German or French. The genders in languages don't really map to what is dangling between one's legs, which is why nouns get classified as different genders in different languages (such as
moon being masculine in German and feminine in French). Those artifacts, combined with gender stereotypes is why we keep words such as "seamstress" while the contra "seamster" is forgotten. And for a particularly bizarre combination of all of these, one old (and obsolete) Spanish verb meaning "to pack tightly" is "estevar", so someone who packs (ships) tightly was an "estevador". The word was borrowed in English for the port occupation of "stevedore", and that word itself was rendered obsolete by containerization in the shipping industry and the replacement word is "longshoreman".