There are some words or phrases that are socially acceptable for some groups to say, but not others. A famous example in American culture is the N-word, which is acceptable for blacks to say, but not other groups (sometimes this practice is referred to as "N-word privileges").
A film example of this type of word is in Gran Torino where two men uses racist slurs affectionately like "Pollack" and "Italian prick", then when the Hmong teenager thinks they want him to repeat it, they are very offended.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=GtSJOUOEJ8o
It doesn't have to be ethnic either. There are some women who are comfortable using the term "bitch" to refer to themselves and homosexuals comfortable using "fag", but they would not be acceptable things for others to say.
Is there a general, neutral term for this sort of word or phrase that is socially acceptable for some groups to use, but not others?